I blogged a few years ago about aspects of sports that drive me nuts. They change from time to time, but following in no particular order are those that came to mind this week.
THE THREE-POINT HOCKEY GAME
The idiocy of awarding a point for losing a game in overtime or by a shootout is best illustrated by the following improbable, but nonetheless possible, example. A team could go through an entire season without winning a game and still end up with 82 points, possibly enough to make the playoffs as a wild card. The best way to fix this would be to award three points for a win in regulation time.
THE END-ZONE TRAPEZOID
This is a Gary Bettman’s cure for which there was no known disease. He introduced this abomination because one goaltender (Martin Brodeur) could handle the puck better than many defencemen. If Bettman had been commissioner when Jacques Plante played he probably would have tried to ban goaltenders.
PLAYING WITHOUT A STICK
I played hundreds of hockey games and have watched thousands. I have never once seen a situation where a player who broke his stick wouldn’t have been better off to rush to the bench, get a stick, and rush back into the play. But I’ve seen dozens (maybe hundreds) of instances where not doing so resulted in a goal or a penalty for holding or interference.
LINESMEN WHO DON’T IMMEDIATELY DROP THE PUCK
I’ve been told that NHL linesmen are instructed to insist on particular criteria for the placement of players’ sticks before dropping the puck. Just let the teams know that when the linesman is ready to drop the puck he’s going to do so, and too damn bad if one center happens to not be ready.
INTERVIEWING COACHES ON THE BENCH
Somewhere there’s a broadcast executive who thought this was a great idea; but it’s just an intrusion for the coach and a disruption of the flow of the game. If a coach other than John Tortorelli ever says something meaningful I’ll faint from shock.
MANAGERS WHO ORDER BATTERS NOT TO SWING ON A 3-0 PITCH
By not allowing batters to swing on a 3-0 pitch, managers prevent them from swinging at what in all probability will be the best pitch they’ll see all day, maybe all week: a fastball right down the middle.
MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL PLAYERS WHO CAN’T BUNT
Laying down a well-placed bunt is a skill that any professional baseball player should be able to master. The only possible excuse for major league players not being able to do so is a combination of player laziness and managerial idiocy.
BROADCASTERS NOT COMPLETING COMMENTS
Such as, “That’s the second-fastest two goals ever,” without telling us what the fastest two were and who scored them.
PEOPLE WHO THING PARITY IS GOOD
“Parity” is just a euphemism for mediocrity. It never was, isn’t now, and never will be good for any sport. Does anyone seriously believe that the Canadiens, Yankees, Cowboys, and Lakers were bad for their sport? Dynastic teams fully engage all fans: both those who love them and those who hate them.