PONDERABLES
After doing all Justin Trudeau’s heavy lifting since 2015, how does Chrystia Freeland feel about all the fawning over Mark Carney at last weekend’s Liberal Zoomvention? And what are the odds that the Carney love-in will turn out to be a repeat of the ill-fated Michael Ignatieff pie-in-the-sky experiment of a decade ago?
THINGS I FIRMLY BELIEVE
Whoever approved the 2021 Canadian Olympic “uniforms” needs to find a new line of work. In particular, the hideous jeans jacket is something that even 60s hippies wouldn’t wear.
Liberal MP, Willam Amos, has given a whole new meaning to both the age-old pejorative “If he shows up with his pants on he’ll exceed expectations” and the term “government transparency.”
CONFIRMATION OF AN EARLIER MUSING
I mused last week that when Michael Wernick, former clerk of the privy council, testified before the commons defense committee, he pretty well established that it was Justin Trudeau who, in 2018, effectively scuppered any investigation into the allegations of sexual misconduct by former Chief of Defense Staff, Jonathan Vance. Wernick’s testimony also completely discredited Trudeau’s contention that he didn’t learn of the allegations until a couple of months ago. This week, in order to prevent senior staff from testifying, Trudeau shut down the committee hearing, clearly confirming he was the culprit all along. This is stunning hypocrisy from someone who loves to tell the entire world what an ardent male feminist he is.
IF IT LOOKS LIKE A DUCK
There’s an old saying that if it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it’s probably a duck. Well, if it looks like a carbon tax, is collected like a carbon tax, and has the same effect as a carbon tax, it’s probably a carbon tax, even if Conservative leader Erin O’Toole insists it’s a “pricing mechanism.” His two-faced flip-flop on his promise to eliminate Trudeau’s carbon tax, although capped at a much lower level than Trudeau’s, is incredibly complicated and enormously more difficult to administer. It’s like AIR MILES on steroids. It’s hard to figure out what O’Toole will gain from introducing a program that looks like something concocted by Elizabeth May.
BROADCAST STUPIDITY
Sportsnet's decision to simulcast coverage of Blue Jay games on radio and TV is proving to be as stupid as it sounded when announced a few weeks ago. Quite apart from the fact the two broadcasts demonstrably require different styles and content, Buck Martinez and Pat Tabler are completely unsuitable for radio baseball coverage. Actually, Tabler isn’t suited for either radio or TV.
Although I don’t doubt for a moment that Pat Tabler is a very fine person whose company I’d enjoy, he’s simply not a very good broadcaster. He rarely contributes meaningful insight; his low-key, monotonous delivery makes him sound like he’s apologizing for something; and too often he talks as if he’s addressing young kids at a baseball clinic. His excuses for players’ mistakes have become trite, and his overuse of the phrase “a little bit” is particularly annoying. (One night he used it four times in one sentence!)
Martinez, although a competent colour commentator, falls short as a play-by-play announcer. He frequently gets counts and the score wrong, occasionally misidentifies players, is sometimes slow to mention substitutions, seldom recaps the scoring, and tends to dwell on the obvious. His penchant for predicting what the next pitch is going to be is particularly aggravating, especially since he’s wrong more often than he’s right. Surprisingly, he seems to have difficulty identifying pitches. A slider, curve, cut fastball, or screwball are all described by Martinez as “a breaking ball.” And I know this is really nitpicking, but an occasional “high” or “low,” instead of “upstairs” and “downstairs,” would be a little welcome variety. Because it was his position throughout his long career, it’s understandable that Martinez views the game from a catcher’s perspective. But far too much of his play-by-play content is framed by that view alone.
Buck should stick to colour and Pat should coach little league in Cincinnati.
THE TWO STUPIDEST PLAYS IN SPORTS
And speaking of stupidity, the two stupidest “plays” in sport are: 1) baseball managers ordering batters to take a 3-0 pitch (it’s going to be the most hittable pitch they’ll see all day); and, 2) hockey players not immediately fetching a new stick when they break theirs (they’d be usefully back in the action in a few seconds instead of uselessly floundering around until there’s a whistle, which is often when a goal is scored on their team).