1) The problems bedeviling Maple Leaf goalie Jonathan Bernier have reminded me of two of my goaltending experiences that will probably stay with me until the day I die. The first was when I was playing Juvenile hockey in Toronto (the equivalent to Midget hockey today). I had only three shots in the entire game, one in each period. The game ended in a 3-3 tie. My coach said, “I know you saw them, Lyman, because you waved at each one.” The second incident took place a few years later while I was playing Senior hockey with the Charlottetown Royals. At the end of the second period the score was tied 9-9. As the goalie, I was leading the team back out on the ice for the third period. I paused at the dressing room door, turned, and said to my teammates, “I’ve never had ten goals scored on me in a game.” Angie Carroll, our captain, who was right behind me, retorted, “Then you better stay in the (expletive deleted) room.” We won 11-9. I’m pretty sure a couple of people reading this were at that game.
2) I’ve lost track of the number of talks I’ve given to high school graduating classes, but there was always one question asked during the Q&A. It was, “How do I choose a career?” My answer was always the same: find something that you like doing so much that you’d do it for nothing, and then do it so well that people will pay you to do it.
3) The number of people passing through Pearson International airport in Toronto yesterday was about equal to the population of PEI.
4) Those who think that money is the main source of security will never have real security because real security comes from family, friends, knowledge, skills and attitude, not from the amount of money one has. Another problem with people who base their self-worth on how much money they have is that when they’re with people who are richer than they are, they tend to feel inferior, and when they’re with people who are poorer, they tend to feel superior; neither is necessarily so.
5) Down through the years there have been countless horrible country song titles. Here are some of my favourites:
She Got the Gold Mine and I Got the Shaft
If You Don’t Believe I Love You, Just Ask My Wife
You Can’t Have Your Kate and Edith Too
I’ve Got Tears in My Ears from Lying on My Back in My Bed as I Cry over You
Walk out Backwards Slowly So I’ll Think You’re Walking In
You’re the Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly
I Don’t Know Whether to Kill Myself or Go Bowling
Get Your Tongue out of My Mouth, I’m Kissing You Goodbye
Her Teeth Were Stained but Her Heart Was Pure
How Can I Miss You if You Won’t Go Away
If I’d Shot You When I Wanted to I’d be Out by Now
I’d Rather Have a Bottle in Front of Me than a Frontal Lobotomy
May The Bird of Paradise Fly up Your Nose (which, believe it or not, was a huge hit)
6) Earlier this week I discovered a very old file containing a number of jottings that I had long since forgotten about. I have no idea whether any of these are true, or how I intended to use them, but they somehow at one time attracted my attention:
A crocodile can’t stick out its tongue
A snail can sleep for three years
An ostrich’s eye is bigger than its brain
Butterflies taste with their feet
There’s no Betty Rubble in the Flintstones chewable vitamins
The average person’s left hand does 56% of the typing
7) That same old file contained a number of anagrams that I had noted many years ago. Finding these reminded me that even before I knew what the word “anagram” meant, I would mentally rearrange the letters of words to form other words. As a kid I especially liked doing this with people’s names. For example, mine would be Namyl Sinnicam. Here are some of the anagrams that were in the old file:
Dormitory (dirty room)
The Morse code (here come dots)
Slot machines (cash lost in ’em)
Animosity (is no amity)
The public art galleries (large picture halls, I bet)
A decimal point (I’m a dot in place)
The earth quakes (that queer shake)
Eleven plus two (twelve plus one)
Contradiction (accord not in it)
The muse and I are taking a couple of weeks off; so, Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all.