There were seven or eight of us at the early morning meeting and Bob fell asleep. The rest of us crept out, and another chap and I went down to the street and stopped about a dozen people before we found six perfect strangers willing to go along with the practical joke.. They sat around the table for a couple of minutes (the rest of us were watching from an adjoining room) and then one of the strangers made enough noise to awaken Bob. At that point another of them said, “O.K. Bob, we’ll do it your way, but you’ll have to deal with the consequences if it doesn’t work.” The six strangers then got up and left, as did we. I think Bob sat there for close to half an hour before he left. He never mentioned the incident to any of us.

             Meetings, speeches and books should never be judged by their length.

             Sometimes taking minutes wastes hours.

             Meetings are where people talk about things they should be doing.

             To ruin an idea, refer it to a committee.

             Confrontation between people at a meeting will be discouraged by seating them side by side.

             Whenever one person can adequately do a job, two people can never do it as well, and it likely will be completely butchered if three or more people get involved.

             When a mosquito lands on you, there’s no need to form a committee; just kill it.

             A decision is what you have to make when you can’t find people to serve on a committee.

             A committee of five usually consists of one who does the work, three who praise it, and one who writes a minority report.

             Even smart people make dumb committees.

             To survive some meetings we have to learn how to leave the room without actually doing so.